Addicted
by Scott Black
Summary: Set PostChosenNFA. BW. That's all I'm going to give you.
1. Chapter 1

Addicted

by Scott

nikolaus. Of course we all know by now that BtVS is not mine, though I wish it was. (this is a standing offer to Alyson Hannigan, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Eliza Dushku--if you're ever in MI, come pay me a visit!).

Author's Notes: The Kelly Clarkson song "Addicted (my deep dark secret is that I'm a Kelly Clarkson fan...she's hot) is the main insperation for this fic. I got her CD a few weeks ago and was listening to it earlier (yeah, on Xmas...I'm a bad bad guy who is going to hell for not listening to the 10000000000000 different versions of "The First Noel" and "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" I guess.) when I got the idea for this. Unbeta'd as usual. :)

Archives/Feedback: Yes to both. I'd really like more than one review this time. (Thanks for the reviews Red, as you're the one that's reviewed me 99.9 of the time!)

Spoilers: Uh...everything through the last episodes of Buffy and Angel. I really didn't watch Angel that much though. I managed to see NFA though.

Pairings:

S/B (Yes, but only in memories!)

B/A (Again, only in her memories)

Buffy/Immortal (mentioned in passing)

W/B (overall)

Summary: Buffy thinks about the past and gets a visitor.

Parts: 1?

Addicted by Kelly Clarkson

(Select Verses, go find the whole song, it's good)

And I know I let you have all the power

it's like the only company I seek

is misery all around

it's like you're a leach

sucking the life out of me

It's like I can't think

without you interrupting me

It's like I'm not me...

I was sitting in the corner earlier, in the big overstuffed white leather chair that I like to sink into after work sometimes. Just kinda thinking about everything that's happened so far when I got the phone call.

Giles called. They're all dead.

Gunn, Fred..Illyria now, I guess...Angel.

Spike. Again.

I've been staring off into space ever since I heard. I didn't expect it to hurt this much.

I hadn't spoken to Angel for a while, but from what I knew he was doing fine.

He apparently liked this girl, Nina. A werewolf, apparently. Yes, I'll admit to a flash of jealousy when I found out, but it was really okay with me. After all, I'm dating Gerard. You know, the guy better known as the Immortal? Yeah, him.

I really like him. But it's not love. Not like it was with Angel..not like I feel for...her.

Now Spike...Spike wasn't love. Not romantic love, anyways. He was someone I could count on in the end. Someone to take my mind off of everything...someone I could just be "Buffy" with. I never had to be the Slayer when I was with Spike. Yeah, being the slayer during sex with him was easy, and a hell of a time...but I never HAD to be the Slayer with him. I could break down in front of him and know I could trust him. I've never given that to anyone. Not completely. Not a soul, unless you count Willow. Willow, who is happy with Kennedy. Willow, who I will most likely never see again. Willow, who I am madly, deeply, desperately in love with. I know she doesn't feel the same way. The silence on the other end of the phone, and then the eventual dial tone when I told her was proof enough of that.

Things with both Angel and Spike were pretty bad, now that I look back. I was addicted to the feeling of forbidden romance with Angel and I was just plain addicted to Spike back then. I guess getting older and being kicked out of your own house by your friends and sister is a really big wake up call. I know that when Dawn looks back she's sorry..and I am too.

I knew at that moment I would never be able to trust any of them to have my back fully ever again. And that hurt more than anything on Earth. Not even my own sister. Not even the one woman I loved more than anyone in this world. I loved her so much I risked the world for her, and this is what she does for me?

If she came to me today, right now, I don't know what I would say or do. Would I welcome her with open arms? Probably not. Like I said, I can't trust her anymore. She's turned her back on me too many times. But at the same time, I need her...I need her so much. It's like I'm dying without any Willowness in my life...she probably can't say the same about me. Like I said, the dial tone communicated that pretty clearly. So here I sit, quietly. Alone. Just like it's always been, just like it always will be. I am The Slayer, even if I'm not active anymore.

Oh, someone's knocking at the door.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming..stop banging already...what the hell are YOU doing here?"

-End for now, gimme reviews and I'll post part 2 pretty quickly :p-


	2. Chapter 2

Addicted

by Scott

nikolaus. Thanks for the reviews! Yeah, I agree that the end of the last chapter was rushed and I'll probably go back and revise it at some point. :)

As for who's at the door? You're about to find out...let's just say it's not who you would expect. At least I don't think you'd expect it. It's not going to be quite THAT easy for our girls to hook up. :) IF they even do...bwahaha. :)

Rating: I'm raising it to PG-13 in the next chapter for things that will happen there..but for now, PG. May eventually go up to R, not sure yet.

Contact: nikolaus. 2? (possibly 4 or 5, also a possible sequel)

Other Notes: Have you checked out the StR forums? If not, then I'd suggest you sign up! http/slayersrisen.10. We still need staff, guys. :) C'mon, you KNOW you want to. :P

Addicted (Chapter 2)

"We have a serious problem, Buffy." The speaker at the door said quietly. Buffy gasped at her appearance. She was mottled and bruised, blood trickling from a gash on her forehead. Her shoulder looked to be at least dislocated and she walked with a pronounced limp.

"Kennedy...what the hell happened to you? Why are you here and not in Rio with Willow?"

"It's happened, Buffy. The darkness within Willow...it's changed her again. Can I come in and possibly get some medical treatment or something? I'm really close to passing out."

"Of course..what do you mean by "it's changed her again"? Is she blackeyed again? Should I gear up? Damnit Kennedy I'm retired, doesn't anyone know the meaning of that?" As she spoke, Buffy swung Kennedy's good arm over her shoulder and gently laid her on the couch. She grabbed her first aid equipment and rushed back into the room, cleaning and bandaging her wounds as gently as possible.

"You know that shoulder's going to hurt like hell when I pop it back in...and your ankle looks broken. I've got to set and splint it."

"Yeah,"Kennedy replied, sounding defeated,"go ahead. I can take it." Buffy nodded and quickly popped Kennedy's shoulder back into place, resulting in Kennedy's shrill yelp. Just as quickly Buffy set Kennedy's ankle and splinted it. When that was completed Kennedy tiredly sagged into the couch. Meanwhile Buffy gave Kennedy some pain pills and a glass of water before sitting next to her.

"Now tell me everything, Kennedy...Willow's gone evil again? Does Giles know? How about Xander? Is it really bad?"

Kennedy grinned. "In the order you asked me those questions--Yes, Yes, No, and Yes. Xander can't help this time, Buffy...this time it's about you."

"Wait, how the hell is this about me?" The shock on Buffy's face gave way to dismay. She thinks she knows just how it can be about her.

"What did you tell Willow on the phone that night, Buffy?She took off immediately as she hung up the phone. When she came back...she was black eyed again. I think she may have hit another magic dealer while she was out. She heard something...something she didn't believe. She told me she was "going to be gone a few days and to not wait around".

Tears began leaking out of Buffy's eyes. "I..I..I t-told her I was in love with her, Kennedy..."

Kennedy sighed. "Y'know, I always knew it would happen. Of course, I didn't expect Willow to react quite like THAT...but I guess it's not all that surprising when you think about it."

"I know why she reacted like that. She's coming for me, Kennedy. She wants to erase me from the face of the Earth, I guess. Well she's not gonna without a fight!" the blond replied.

"Buffy..I don't think she's coming to kill you. I think the shock, coupled with how things are between you right now...I think that caused her to lose sight of who she is. She's so full of confusion and anger... Giles and Faith are both coming here...we all think she's coming here, to you, because she wants to see if you're telling the truth." The younger slayer said.

"Or she's coming to skin me like she did to Warren." The older slayer responded absently.

"Yeah, that too. Seriously though, I think all that this Willow wants deep inside is the truth, from you to her..." Kennedy said softly.

"So why were you beaten up then?" Buffy asked, looking into Kennedy's eyes.

"Because I lied to her, Buffy. I said she could go to you...said I didn't care. I called her your whore." Kennedy closed her eyes, her exhaustion shining through.

A beat of silence.

"You called her a whore? You know, if you weren't so hurt right now I'd kick your ass." Buffy's voice suddenly took a decidingly more menacing turn.

"Heh...well anyway, she could see through my lie and "made me suffer" for it.."

"Well then she's not evil, is she? She just hates people who lie and decieve and punishes them for it. That's why she's coming here, I think. So we finally stop lying to each other and have it out over everything, come clean, finally..I've got to say, I'm sorta glad." Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, envisioning it.

"There is the little matter of her killing or otherwise maiming or injuring you if you lie to her, but yeah, she didn't really seem completely evil..yeah she was blackeyed and her hair was black, she lashed out at me for lying to her, but she wasn't..."veiny", as you all described it. She seemed to have no interest in destroying the world..just getting to you."

"Kennedy...I guess I have to say thanks. And call Giles and Faith and tell them not to come. This is between me and Willow."

"Buffy..she's still dangerous if you lie to her. With all of the power from the magic dealer she went to, she's pretty much unstoppable. At least let me stay and be backup."

"Alright, but she's got to allow you here. I'm not hiding you from her."

"Smart choice. She'd see it as deception and probably destroy you. But what are you going to say to her when she comes?"

"The truth. I'll finally tell her everything, make her understand my choices. And in return I hope she does the same thing for me."

"Well, I'll be here to back you up if she gets too out of hand."

"Thank you. You know Kennedy, you're really not THAT annoying anymore. What the hell happened to you?"

"One word, Buffy: Willow."

"I can see how she could affect you that much."

Suddenly the door burst off of its hinges as if ripped away by an invisible force.

"Honey, I'm home!"

Buffy stood up. Kennedy tried to but Buffy shoved her back on the couch.

"Hey Will, long time no see."

Note:

Okay, so now we have not-quite-evil-just-pissed-off-and-tired-of-the-lies-and-deception-Willow arriving at Buffy's house. Kennedy is going to try to help if things get too bad, however she's injured. And did you notice that Buffy never called Faith or Giles? Yeah, should be interesting next chapter, which I already have in my head. Also, the idea of "Dark Willow" being born out of her anger at Buffy for all of her lies and her rampant deception is something I came up with...a lot of people can probably do it a hell of a lot better than me. Hope this chapter was better than the last...I hope no one's too confused. :) Scottgoing to a pistons game tomorrow! Jesus christ, VIP tickets...sorry, just wanted to share my happiness. :)

NEXT CHAPTER:

"Kennedy, get out."

With a flick of Willow's hand, Kennedy was back in Rio, deposited in the ER of a hospital.

Buffy tensed, suddenly worried about just HOW evil this new dark Willow was.

"Oh, don't worry, she's fine, I actually sent her to the hospital..but as for you..."


End file.
